Not because he was pooping. Not in his sleep.
At me. When I came over to his crib after he woke up and said “Hi Baby” and tickled his cheek.
Of course I did what any normal mom would do after seeing their baby smile at her for the first time…I covered my face and burst into snorting crazy tears and had to sit down. Since I don’t cry much any more, three nurses came running into the room to see what was wrong. Luckily, they were there to witness his second, third and fourth smiles in lieu of J’s distraught mother.
One of the nurses was holding my shoulder and kept saying “Why are you crying? It’s okay! It’s great!”
“I just wasn’t expecting it,” I responded.
But really, it’s because no matter what I may have written here just a couple of days ago, what I tell myself so I can keep moving forward, and what ICU Dad and I tell each other when we do our usual pep talks…in my heart of hearts, I just wasn’t expecting it ever.
We have been waiting to see that smile for almost seven months now. I’m not sure I’ve ever witnessed a sweeter sight.